Thursday, June 6, 2013

About This #FridayswithMaury Thing...

I'm holding a million babies, DNA test results, not the father!
That beyotch in the audience better keep her mouth shut.
My life is hard. I never knew how difficult it would truly be to give up an 80 hour per week work schedule and devote all of my time to foolishness. Who knew sleep was so important? Who knew eating was so overrated? Who knew Cosmopolitan had such awesome tips for keeping your man? I didn't at first, but now I know these things and so much more after studying the topics that enhance my new lifestyle. For instance, did you know there's a show where you can get free trips, lie detector tests for your cheatin' ass boyfriend, and paternity tests to prove you're not lying about the fact the kids are his? I recently discovered this on accident and I've been hooked ever since.

Each weekend, I devote so much energy to partying, it takes me an entire week to recover. I usually wake up refreshed on Friday, at about 12:45 p.m., to begin the cycle all over again. A few weeks ago, my television was on in the background as I was waxing my beard and the Maury show came on at 1:00. Well, I certainly never witnessed anything like it before and haven't since. It is its own microcosm, a study on today's society encapsulated into one refreshing hour of life changing mental stimulation.

Clapping on each syllable I say, looking white trash trailer park lovely
147% sure I liked the new Star Trek movie.
I started tweeting my thoughts about the program each Friday at 1:00 P.M. (*See update at end of post*), using the hashtag #Maury. However, for some bizarre reason, my tweeting caught on and attracted conversation from a variety of sources. I changed my tag to something catchier, the inspiring #FridayswithMaury. Now, here's a complication: I have been waking up a bit earlier each day to go tanning outside and realized that awesome television is on EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't think I'll be awake enough to manage tweeting everything all day every day, but I think I have the ability to add in a few more shows.

I can't really decide what I would like to do, so I'm leaving it open to you, my dear fans. Wilkos Wednesdays? Trisha Tuesdays? Or just a one-time, whole day event of nothing but court shows (Divorce, Mathis, Joe Brown, Judy, etc.)? How about a full day of a mix of shows, from 7 a.m. through as late as I can go, with a coordinating drinking game with copious amounts of mimosas? Soap operas? Discovery Health documentaries? I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant?

Let's have votes or suggestions. I'm leaving for Las Vegas on the 27th and the blogging and tweeting during that trip is going to be its own adventure, as I review events, locales, fashion, food and beverages in the way I do best. However, I have a few weeks left before that day to bring on some more tweet & blog action regarding our favorite daytime telly. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or on Twitter, @JKesgard.

***UPDATE 10/24/13***
The television schedule around these parts has changed. #FridayswithMaury now occurs at 10 A.M. PST.

Preemie cabbage patch doll made his father leave
This is all your fault.