Tuesday, June 6, 2017

These 14 photos of Portland Timbers vs. San Jose Earthquakes will restore your faith in humanity

This edition of snarktography will leave you speechless and/or make you lose your mind. Maybe.
On Friday, June 2, the San Jose Earthquakes visited Providence Park and were defeated 2-0 by Diego Valeri and some other guys. Kip Kesgard wrote some blah blah blah about it here (with more of my pics). The following are sillier images from the evening, accompanied by SHOCKING comments. We dare you to click on them; what happens next will change your life (or just make them bigger).

Ridgewell, Wondolowski, Stott
"Payment, please."

Guzman, Asprilla
Surprise cartwheel!


Chara, Vytas, Porter, Valeri
"There it is." Oh really? Thanks Chara.

Stott, Wondolowski, Miller, Guzman
"Piss off, Wondo."

Adi, Jungwirth
"How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?"

Valeri, Providence Park crowd
Well, it was about time somebody did something.

Valeri, Guzman, Miller, Asprilla
"No hugs for you."

Providence Park, Timbers Army
The smoke is lovely to look at but it's why I stay on the south side of the park.

Chara, Lima
"Can I have my leg back now?"

Adi oops
Part one. Adi: "I swear, this has never happened to me before."

Bernardez, Adi, Bingham
Part two. Bernardez: "Hey man, don't sweat it. It happens to all of us at some point."

Part 3. Valeri: "Not to me."

Insert Tetris theme here.

Valeri, Valeri jr., Gleeson, Valentin
"Sweetheart, we can let him have this one. We already have so many at home."