Something truly amazing happened during the Timbers win on Saturday, April 14: I discovered my shoes were WATERPROOF. I mean, yeah, Portland was playing Minnesota at Providence Park in the pouring down rain, it was the home opener, and there were many goals and other supposedly exciting events, but you guys...
my feet were dry. The worst part was that no one said anything. You would think that someone, maybe at least Alvas Powell (he certainly wasn't busy), could have taken just a moment out of the match to congratulate me on surviving that horrific hours-long watery deluge from the sky. There would have been plenty of time to say
something about my awesome shoes during all the occasions the ref was listening to the VAR dude in his ear. Sadly, instead I am forced to begin another year of Timbers coverage with
extra pettiness. Just you wait for the match predictions on
kipkesgard.com; I'm finally going to get really, really mean.
Anyway, here are some photographs from the Timbers 3-2 win, along with potentially ridiculous commentary. For more serious content, read Kip Kesgard's
match report.
![Adi's back Fanendo Adi](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyn29rqWYDFypeV8AGm8YqqOg3brbYKsdn7f_ZGwE4N5lpzaOQVTCs2JxygHSvk1wSFIm4C85CHkqmhC-ieZ6OQgRK1sYKfRyHmMUazWYZUhFVGfSFfxFC294oWcFMwDs9MiCr7msmafEk/s640/IMG_6958-1.jpg) |
"Reports of my obsolescence have been greatly exaggerated." |
![Adi scared Fanendo Adi](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDB1azM8wySRxnmO0z7__7JgGaMmupObadk_VVSyMFCZ3T9vsE6yQzaCVYd0e3-FR2lkt_193gGHZoeRfyqiQOuCNlYTLCniKc94nlPTj99yHqOEaZ8qMFNMqeG0Mp_EsA2B_Cu9Wc-Hh7/s640/IMG_6985.jpg) |
The visiting supporters' section cannot be unseen. |
![Valeri beauty regimen Diego Valeri, Ibson](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmUnxq3gtzQ8z6fTpBAVwf2aUvVjt3tK3ObCitpz3vlQ0t8hDAdmmH_ioKJZVlLyyvBzxpVA9TuC6O5E3pSfwa4icmb2ZIzoq_3VLpMPKHLotqJ-_wOaS7h1V0va40Ecr3JvUTjF5NKAu/s640/IMG_7031.jpg) |
"My nails just won't set in this humidity." |
![Powell like a boss Alvas Powell goal run](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZt1j8IC9ohB4pe1ktMDnmmoQE9-VFZnUlOSngzgzyEKJIJPbP_JC0TxuQRh8NnpqonHeuiKo2D42aaN6uj6JyfkK_NaDu6H81cXiP-FV8w1ZdBywhJQs-zsk14q8NFow7zEQ-RZcmb4xr/s640/IMG_7063-1.jpg) |
Maybe Powell *was* a little busy. |
![Adi knows a secret Fanendo Adi, Alvas Powell.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-BOuBEnvT7OB6AA7woGP59nhSxwzByOiWJblluGTp4vnmYdo89G5y2SgTUjw-HS39hB4uHbIgFQunIspUYW4jdbWvLwEzZLMTguImFExBYhoecyikAOqg-quexlNIV0itUVghlb2B_t8R/s640/IMG_7076.jpg) |
Adi: "The guy behind me got the Spiced IPA." |
![Big man troubles Fanendo Adi](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOTla9zbfvIgcLxEu8e6DfODXB6jwZq70jlnYqujkyCIInF6CbraDmH0Xr3sYvd4yuCH5evoyhxQHBAvmpba0sp1wE8sskqcCVWcrLlIC6hRNXQV6EH33GygKIdZ-Hn7aYpexSfbF7wYRY/s640/IMG_7138.jpg) |
"You're still too big to get calls in your favor." |
![Everyone's troubles Sebastian Blanco](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDnBGm0I0paDddwsRnqLtnJ8m_lFlu4FVVWBGEGRNQuqcLfHuQWG3vHyx348CAm9kAqtUQ4g_e4jNhH-eCib0tbMoJA86XBi_0Tuuf800tDcBAO1f3b3kpa2-B7qmeT7AZn9P8wgJ_U-ix/s640/IMG_7188-1.jpg) |
Ref: "The voice tells me not to give you calls, either." |
![Gleeson not pleased Jake Gleeson](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNXI4FYM9BdHvvtOqHkUCQAPVsiua1Acn0SFxvzuuTRP3CkNt731ta_kV27Sn-D9Yd7F2I7BdFY1112LDMkBOvI1qFi4YICLZ37iT4Dq1LNEtDMK7V6xbCys-E-hnsq6aS7sWtdLGYovIN/s640/IMG_7197-1.jpg) |
Jake Gleeson loves the TA OGs in the South Deck. |
![Zarek loves construction equipment Zarek Valentin, Diego Chara](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWzeJkr4bjIrZAPCdd1BfO4CNDHuTW0JVE2qIadj9RenoS5i78pCwX_tg-xORgkNcY8qM-S97WfIfFVUcgYIDTO7hBMSKwsp3oLPp_sIQScSwZx_jQ6tDk8B1fqLDNCCVfPLqY4-cYIfL/s640/IMG_7277.jpg) |
Part one. "That's a really big crane!" |
![Gasping at that big ass crane Diego Chara, Bill Tuiloma, Cristhian Paredes](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN5tvhor4gKdaeM0vpB1OJOJPSEzvCzl7AqbS9MZFuJ8yPx5qXmkkdIwk95LCsGQ0CBGgqkz3Fzh11v1CeSlMUAFbimAGkx4fQRkCX7LHHI-48x-zrffhMtDRFxemXkLzuLnEwbzOy4eT2/s640/IMG_7278.jpg) |
Part two. It *was* a really big crane. |
![Snotty Mean ref](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN-56cAZmMC-UPwZ_gnSyPxibrH0ZDgdl3uU5Ltmt_TfZ0vyVoVANhmwXDuYBtzjmLZu6VqC1FXKdKpLTVpUtf1XLXHOF7u7j0n3vgNt9hHQQmov8LO3wOX3xRNhYRqbfV7XLiFFm7W3kC/s640/IMG_7285.jpg) |
"Snape kills Dumbledore." |
![Powell gonna Powell Alvas Powell](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeNnnW5nx9CssZN80aFj_rrM5_QZQI3mv9SnrVSvgzDLC1igDFDcwppMFP-WrB_ZchIRkn6uynawCRj_bp1d2eP1Acf7z8vjwp7kMWC6PXulOpDg88uxf1wAHs2aW5GrKvD1MG_WFYQF5/s640/IMG_7311.jpg) |
Powell contemplates his inconsistency. |
![Such a freakin cutie Cristhian Paredes](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfvwaMLXRpFT7C7v6G4G-2zseal1jfnX5awNDyMbUBzvVtkUobP3pWjrXslW6uLFM09dCG1xDOoDd2tF7LPYChTQiMnPniu_pp4k09-ZD5Uzf8oekITiq3OAIpGXE40PeeHE47FaMKpv6/s400/IMG_7500.jpg) |
Oh, no... didn't they tell you not to smile at me?
Now you've gone and jinxed the whole season!
|
![That's the joke Larrys Mabiala, Samuel Armenteros](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVcoKRjZ44JZQ0aMKe421br3Hi6Bn5tooc-9KLWtbS8O8u9MiyvjzaemB1PURJXrd75SFRub-OkGp50PH0rC8sAVWNWIjDy21J8cmsGXwZQ2JuKqOsaBaTVJ5qPZdaEX8uibNcqsMSmGj0/s640/IMG_7503.jpg) |
Larrys Mabiala: "Hey, maybe next time we won't let it get that close at the end."
|
![Big freakin crane Look at the crane. LOOK AT IT.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFL-iiLl3y0DihIg3Dhy1jGY10QL9hTP-1OjiYFSKQB1i3ZRkQnvOlnlNjqMTx4hIa92vg-Yo4wMVY0ZV4_tuR7ncjXeWn4s37IoBxcn89e5YmRtrA-925QsBe973Cop1xbxuzFaV6vmJq/s640/IMG_6869.jpg) |
Surprise bonus. Part three. The big crane. |
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