Orlando City SC rolls into town on Sunday, September 24 acting all, "Hey, we're so awesome," and stuff like that and the Portland Timbers are all, "Nuh-uh," and "Eat these goals and red cards." And then I'm like, "Oh, these pictures I took of Portland's 3-0 win at home are really crappy but I'm going to share them anyway with seriously lame captions." And then you're all, "Look, a train wreck from which I simply cannot look away." The result: I get lots of hits and a whole ten cents in ad revenue.
Enjoy!
For something slightly more coherent, read Kip Kesgard's
match report. You'll see more of my photos there, as well.
![Chara net Diego Chara solo](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Bhpal_ssW9Q_jDWpkrLzdL8HnT2Ra0SMv5OPZFIZ5WHvbxbtB8azkHWxrH6vbwgJEzkL5-OCiuwTtn6WH35GpUYPLC_Dgrba9hZ5JKHqiUtR9Nlfey1TMHbSTfbjd9Kmurx9JeLGLdg3/s640/IMG_2982.JPG) |
Dealing with Orlando's ridiculousness is exhausting. Trip some suckas and smile. It'll make you feel better. |
![Toledo VAR ref looking at replay for penalty](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghPh9_S7BZwKrJsisT9ujTn1Z_7pYPFGxFnUJX6Pzx8oS0XSE04nzvSB_-1ppLlcVkCRF79B2Ua11FLAybZSvXWvqLe61nDN0lqYTddReGLuj91Uw5upRvnAmMAvN6zBEwkVyOK06Pw4yl/s640/IMG_2983.JPG) |
"Hailing frequencies open, Captain." |
![Timbers Army oopsie GO GIEDO](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWXvRiScMuyStCGY44eQtqpp3GS3jgssdjdl_TvpznpMSweNVZPc0RjG_saGa7RZGi9cIAbJDEEj__nEp3JyafZwMvj-rBd9uEZaJkMNa0wcNyPvxMppz1x3sxd4h9qQmzWgTlah0qL3uJ/s640/IMG_3013.JPG) |
Yeah! Go you! |
![Valentin snarf face Zarek Valentin solo](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3hiu98lj7WG6goR4_BavYpyY77B4cPcdRGhwHAJ7Gi2_lqWCV20NNL-V_CV7fj-SU4ILOHbz_0Nw5fn8tYdNSCrHUUIFTfFCWKLJEBlA3isc7NVo9RRL3uqRhrh2ZcHI2-Fj-7nRIDq-i/s640/IMG_3047.JPG) |
"SNARF!" |
![Mattocks contortionist Darren Mattocks, Tommy Redding](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl2so4k7N0F2a-muXNIP1S3byuKjb8VGAjzkGC745unpKwrHUARrqx2cOZrIY_O_fTqvUuxLg2n1oYN7E4VVcjR4X53pl55evV4NA0e6jBeCjmMFH7WPvLfgu30CbvyEncGiikvqWTbZli/s640/IMG_3048.JPG) |
Mattocks attempts to walk up the left margin. |
![Mattocks goal celebration Darren Mattocks, Dairon Asprilla](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkrT6u-gQ8nts8X-pmAwoctdfk8AHJAZsPOgnyWK5DEBDC9gHy6LnVM2YyJ0l-VT6dquZqAFPX5uGSkNPXAlvYOog257FW5IJVbSkqi6nQq8V_PPiH9v4Kk81zTgZJoGRdB52SGUoVmp25/s640/IMG_3083.JPG) |
"Can we do this every time?" |
![sleepy time Darren Mattocks, Diego Valeri](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAv7vNPi-UCavEJGYScopoBrxOd_F5DhnybDgITmAKX9cEu3hkILK-fiAnxF30abkBEyrtf8TeNoYhpkSqWoa1Dai_VaTN8bZu9_8zWB9DxrJtt5ixLdsh_6vwHl6eFy8Fc7iFYuAW-IeD/s640/IMG_3098.JPG) |
"Done my part. Time for a nap." |
![scrum pt 1 Zarek Valentin, Roy Miller](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBjHY68c_4uThPF3olCTdJ9hpe2ntZqxwW8sgPb8rjC9LN2b87ZmCIQYV87C3hB-9oo7_vDq2H0JCQ9_xg7aSBOFARFLY1-N5F6uPpGdnPgvc1btpoGBlLiMg6B6KI9MxkN6dinWeurTnJ/s640/IMG_3230.JPG) |
Part one. Valentin: "Chill out, bro. Whatever he said can't be THAT bad..." |
![scrum pt 2 Zarek Valentin, Roy Miller](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfPzM6mZTWG8Nl0_lK8tE5y54TcVkE-qiPZcxT-ypjR8obRSgqrmdlkXDceKv3lSQCLeVLKz9RSIrWgilgx_UGj9j4iBB9DVC_BH44TdEGxn6PQnujaaewmPHgPfwQ-tVpZkrgXU4W663V/s640/IMG_3231.JPG) |
Part two. Valentin: "Wait... WHAT?!?" |
![scrum pt 3 toledo, miller](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeuKRWfiEf-ncCBHgch-Biu4Gv9nPItL5ZDjDfEuQgg42akP2fjeG_BbYMkjnv79bP83BN21it0zQLoreDh1T9Qr5quCa0GX5nuA_dw-0UlTWIl0bKrgeyCsS9bPdPll2Xz9IUZywQzvRS/s640/IMG_3246.JPG) |
Part three. Miller: "Yeah, well he started it." |
![stefon club review toledo](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnO6gQUHqPEk-zz3YiIbjtaMseF0pSNk8CXP6jkKyABhwF2FZG_-Nso4KGgwtihWqs5fqfzIK6vXvX0D5dR9itSMm6wvtAG56GDrk_G8X64cnpeA9lQw1Szy2zAiOkAp_lH8FqUgmdQP3x/s640/IMG_3332.JPG) |
Stefon: "This match has everything... a Make-A-Wish come true, two red cards followed by whiny ejections, Valeri breaking more records, Toledo being reasonable, and the park filling with the smell of Spam canned meat product." |
![big helper Jake Jake Gleeson, Derrick Tellez](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5V2Z5m79fndCmzUAq58TDCXY6u6kl64Y7jFffOlNrKf3aFy22LjCDdNLlp0cCI9WHJTYnDRS210ypvOc0RtQdjmH035-DACPUB6rHn4XPwyIu4IwsAmr_vjDV9-gp2egy2gX_9Q6AKM60/s640/IMG_3414.JPG) |
Aww. So cute. |
![brotherly love Tellez bros](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ckAW3d35Zlk7jeRHITQWc-P7HwrLl550lXw7XeM90EYoPcLX5kKvaU-e6zWn-uykK4yDTGcT4REi04tsWYWhwzngAvYYjZMkaC5A9ZkOu48nXsaq-NR0z2aTcMeNMPapYtJMC-_YTTDR/s640/IMG_3435.JPG) |
AWW! SO CUTE!!! |
![geez dad Diego Valeri being normal doofy dad](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw3zPyyDJyt6CHnwFNxejIIfAeIZtHmnEg2LR6_1G6pdhaqUOEXcVHyNmK3w0ZBtB_eAhOn0SnLe6h-AZ8_eXSV1xGNHUyZEFmTy-qtrqg_cUss9yIzIdEevCscseXnUXYyo9WqOS3J4Xt/s640/IMG_3436.JPG) |
Aww... um... so Dad? |