Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Portland Timbers and LA Galaxy settle for one-all draw, snarktography tries somewhat

The Portland Timbers hosted the LA Galaxy to a fun foot roastin' time Saturday, June 2 at Providence Park. The opposing sides each spent so much time passing to each other, it was a miracle even a couple goals occurred. The teams ended at 1-1, and I captured some of the highlights from the gloriously sunny afternoon.

For more serious content, check out Kip Kesgard's match report.

Otherwise, enjoy the photos and lame humor.

Timbers Army, Providence Park
No snark. Lovely colorful pride display. My favorite flag/banner colors are pink, lavender, and blue.

Diego Chara, Perry Kitchen
"I'll try to help get this loosened up, but you'll definitely need to see your chiropractor."

Diego Valeri
Diego Valeri gently coaxes the ball to go home. It didn't go. "Are you too good for your home?!"

Sebastian Blanco
Sebastian Blanco hears the sizzle of roasting flesh as his knee touches down on the 4000 degree pitch.

Diego Valeri
Tiptoe through the turf.

Portland Timbers, LA Galaxy
"No one starts a human pyramid without me. No one."

Samuel Armenteros, Julio Cascante
Samuel Armenteros realizes he was the only one without a date to the big dance.

Diego Chara
"Get the Doc; he's crowning!"

Cristhian Paredes, Samuel Armenteros
Upon viewing the telekinesis performed in this match, the president implemented the Mutant Registration Act.

Jeff Attinella
*Somebody* was kung-fu fighting.

Previous Snarktography this season:

None for Timbers vs. LAFC; lens broke during match

None for Timbers vs. Sounders: too boring for snark

Portland Timbers swat New York City FC 3-0, snarktography procedes

Portland Timbers eke out 3-2 win over Minnesota United, snarktography resumes