For more serious content, check out Kip Kesgard's match report.
Otherwise, enjoy the photos and lame humor.
|No snark. Lovely colorful pride display. My favorite flag/banner colors are pink, lavender, and blue.|
|"I'll try to help get this loosened up, but you'll definitely need to see your chiropractor."|
|Diego Valeri gently coaxes the ball to go home. It didn't go. "Are you too good for your home?!"|
|Sebastian Blanco hears the sizzle of roasting flesh as his knee touches down on the 4000 degree pitch.|
Tiptoe through the turf.
|"No one starts a human pyramid without me. No one."|
Samuel Armenteros realizes he was the only one without a date to the big dance.
"Get the Doc; he's crowning!"
Upon viewing the telekinesis performed in this match, the president implemented the Mutant Registration Act.
*Somebody* was kung-fu fighting.
Previous Snarktography this season:
None for Timbers vs. LAFC; lens broke during match
None for Timbers vs. Sounders: too boring for snark
Portland Timbers swat New York City FC 3-0, snarktography procedes
Portland Timbers eke out 3-2 win over Minnesota United, snarktography resumes