Monday, April 24, 2017

Portland Timbers defeat Vancouver Whitecaps 2-1, snarktography lives

providence park timbers army post-goal
That Alaska ad. LOLZ

Last Saturday, April 22, I sat next to the pitch at Providence Park, drenched by a torrential downpour. Well, I did one minute, and then I was roasted alive in the next minute. This alternation of torture continued for hours. I didn't know how I was going to survive. Fortunately for you I did survive, and my photographs did as well. I have evidence the Timbers beat the Whitecaps 2-1, and didn't look entirely terrible doing so. Please enjoy the ridiculousness of my brand of Timbers coverage, and perhaps if you want something more serious, you could look at the match recap at Kip Kesgard's site.

Click the images for larger versions.

liam ridgewell puts on a show in front of the officials
It's obvious Ridgewell is volunteering to be my new muse. (Jewsbury who?)

liam ridgewell and fredy montero get weird
It didn't take long for things to get weird.

diego valeri and christian bolanos
Valeri has a strange-looking shadow.

darlington nagbe, lawrence olum, david guzman, dairon asprilla
Olum hopes he's not too late to join the human Voltron.

liam ridgewell and jeff attinella
Do mind the elbow, Ridgy.

caleb porter, darren mattocks, kendall waston
"Hey! Get this ball off my head!"

liam ridgewell, david guzman, fredy montero, matias laba
"No, I'm not chanting along with them, but I can't say I disagree with the message."

portland timbers, vancouver whitecaps
The Whitecaps are thrilled they didn't have to cause the contact for once.

diego valeri, kendall waston, dairon asprilla
A rare moment: Valeri's not being assaulted.

vytautas andriuskevicius, vytas, dairon asprilla, andrew jacobson, tim parker
"It's okay; I got this."

portland timbers, timbers army, timber joey

darlington nagbe
Bonus image: What are they looking at? Suggestions?

Previous Snarktography from this season:

April 2, Timbers vs. Revolution

April 15, Timbers vs. Sporting (NONE. THE MATCH WAS BOOOOORING)

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