Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Portland Timbers draw 1-1 with New England Revolution, snarktography returns

TA and El REY flag, Valeri
Last Sunday night, April 2, the Timbers hosted the Revolution at Providence Park, in a competition to see who could frustrate the supporters more. Portland effortlessly brought everyone up to a brilliant high, culminating with Diego Valeri's lovely golazo, but then they faltered in a lackluster second half effort. New England just flopped all over the place, which resulted in the fans' chorus of groans and boos replacing the typically frenetic Timbers Army singalong. Although I had predicted an outright loss, this underwhelming draw gives off much the same feeling. How do we cope with this disappointment? Terrible pictures with horrible captions!

I previously exhibited my "snarktography" at another media outlet, but now it has come home to my own ridiculous lifestyle blog. As usual, other more serious photographs accompany Kip Kesgard's Timbers write-ups at As for the silly, let us begin... (click on each for larger images)

Kei Kamera sadness
"You guys aren't laughing at my hair, are you?"
Fanendo Adi and Alvas Powell laugh it up
"No, why?"

Jake Gleeson bad juju
"I have a bad feeling about this match."

Marco Farfan and Kelyn Rowe ignore the drama behind them
In the center background, scarf guy gave some really bad taffy to the lady. That older gentleman is chastising him.

Sebastián Blanco and Alvas Powell do stuff

Giant Darlington Nagbe approves of Diego Valeri's goal.
Giant Nagbe sees what you did there.

Ref Stott likes to blow his whistle.
Stott calls a foul on the smoke.

we can all appreciate a nice boo-tay
Dat booty tho.

Guzmán and Powell have a discussion.
 1/2 "He wasn't even anywhere near it. He was like this far away. Like, why didn't you stop it?"

This isn't about you
2/2 "Nah, we're not talking about you."

Powell joins the rodeo
8 seconds 'til glory.

Leave Adi alone

First Sasha, now Fanendo
Guzmán: "Are you okay?"  Adi: "Braaaaaiiins..."

damn Valeri

yet another floppity doo
Yeah, I really don't know what's going on here. Caption suggestions encouraged.


  1. Last pic: this is how we Tetris in NE

    1. It's been such a long time since I've been in the NE to participate in Tetris I had forgotten how it gets. Very appropriate.

  2. "Giant Nagbe sees what you did there" needs to go viral on the Internetz.